Bun #3

pregnancy calendar

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Baby Spinning

As I'm researching vaginal birth I'm learning new things about my first labor.  Desmond and I labored 46 hours before he came out via cesarean.  I came across the website spinningbabies.com and the more I read the more I see how Desmond's poor positioning was stalling my labor.  I even read about a swollen cervix on the site which I'd never heard of before and was told it meant I had to deliver via cesarean five and a half years ago.  Not so.  If I had someone who knew ways to encourage proper baby positioning I could have had a very different experience.  Desmond was posterior and couldn't descend properly.

I want to try again.  I'm learning some exercises and stretches I can do even now to encourage proper baby positioning.  I want to chat with my midwife about it tomorrow.  I wonder if they "spin" babies or have other input on what I can do now and during labor.  It would be so nice to birth this baby all in one day.  I'm willing to stand on my head to do it.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Practice Contractions

Last night baby was bouncing around inside me for a good two hours.  I didn't even bother counting kicks; there were definitely enough.  Along with the movement I began feeling contractions.  They lasted about thirty minutes, and I knew they had to be Braxton Hicks because it's way too early for me to be in labor.  They were uncomfortable though and coming every minute or two.  It reminded me of laboring with Desmond.  Oh yeah, this doesn't feel good.  Feeling practice contractions made me feel excited and nervous at the same time.  The painful parts of labor fade away over time and it's been five and a half years since I've felt contractions.  This reminded me of the pain.  It gets quite intense.  I really just hope my labor can start and finish all within 24 hours this time.  I can last that long, but the pain and lack of sleep wear on me once day two is in full swing.

I finally got up, drank some water and washed the dishes.  Everything was calm and quiet after that.  I am glad I'm not going into labor this early.  The house isn't clean, groceries are only half purchased, and I don't have my packing list, babysitter info, or birth announcement set up yet.  Better get some of those things checked off my list soon.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Countdown

A colorful chain hangs on the playroom wall counting down the days until baby is due.  Kaylynn asks me multiple time a day if we can get the baby out now.  I'm hoping this will help her stop asking until we're closer.  So far it hasn't.

I met with a high risk pregnancy specialist at the hospital last Friday.  He gave me the green light for trying a vaginal birth.  Statistically I have a 50/50 chance of success.  We'll just have to see how it all goes down.  My plan is to stay flexible.  I can't help but imagine all the different senarios in my head when I'm falling asleep at night.

I will meet with a midwife every week from now on.  I had an appointment on Wednesday with Janelle and really liked her.  I'll be delivering with one of three midwives - whoever is on duty the day it happens.  I remembered to ask more questions this time and felt better about the whole thing when I left.

The countdown chain on the wall looks long.  So many days left and possibly more tagged on to the end if baby is comfy inside.  At the same time the chain looks short.  Just a matter of days and ready or not he or she will be here and I'll have a newborn again!  

Monday, January 13, 2014

First Midwife Appointment

I had my first appointment with Pacific Midwifery on Friday.  It felt like it took forever to fill out all my medical history and information before I could actually see the midwife.  The nice thing was the office felt intimate and unhurried, but it wasn't familiar or as professional as I'm used to.

The midwife seems to think a VBAC will be fine, but I still have to get approval from Maternal Fetal Medicine at the hospital.  Hopefully that appointment will be this week.  My case isn't cut and dry since I've had two cesareans and last time had atrial fibrillation during pregnancy.  This pregnancy has been very uneventful, but the history is there.  I didn't ask all the questions I should have.  Next time I need to go with a list. 

All this feels a bit overwhelming trying to find a new person and place to deliver.  I want to make good choices, but sometimes I'd also just like someone to tell me what to do.  I told the midwife that I'm also getting set up at The Vancouver Clinic with an OBGYN since I don't have much time left, and if a VBAC with the midwife isn't possible I'll go to a regular doctor.  I could tell they didn't quite know what to do with that, so I felt like a bit of an oddity pursuing both at once.  I assured them I'd pick one as soon as I have more info.  Time is short and making new appointments can take two weeks so I don't really have time to pursue only one, have it fall through, and then set up something new.  I'm feeling stressed about it.  I just want to make the best decision for the baby and myself considering my history, but I have to make that decision with risks on both sides and no guarantees. I'm keeping my mind open to both delivery methods, but I'd like to nail down at least who and where I am delivering. 

I feel like I'm on a train without brakes, hurtling toward an unknown destination.  As I was feeling distressed about the limited time for all my research and decision making, Davin assured me that if I went into labor without any plan in place, we just go to the hospital and everything will be taken care of.  True. 

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Birth Dream

I had my first birth dream last night.  I dreamed I was at a new hospital and the baby had just been born.  I didn't remember the actual delivery so I had to ask a nurse to find out that I had successfully had a VBAC.  I was excited to find out the gender, but when I looked, the bottom of my baby was a doll so I couldn't tell.  I asked the nurse and she told me it was a girl.  I then called my parents to tell them their new granddaughter was here.  I stroked the baby's cheek and she smiled at me.