I had my final midwife appointment on Friday with Patty. She thinks it's beneficial to strip membranes for several days in a row to get labor started. There is a risk the bag of waters could break and then we'd have to deliver baby that day. Another of the midwives, Janelle, doesn't feel membrane stripping does anything. Baby comes when baby's ready. Well, I let Patty try, but she said my cervix "isn't favorable." She could barely reach it and it isn't effaced or dialated at all. She estimated that baby is still at a -3 station. In other words nothing is happening. I opted not to come in for further attempts to strip membranes since I doubt my cervix is ready for that after only a day or two and I don't want to set the timer yet by accidentally breaking my water.
I have a non-stress test scheduled for this coming Friday at the hospital. That will put me at about 41 weeks (depending which due date you go with). Patty said another of my favorite phrases, "We don't want you to go too long." I can schedule a cesarean any day I want. Bleh!
I don't like hearing these things again, feeling like everyone's ready to throw in the towel. Some days I want to, too. It would be so easy. It could be over and done with. I could be holding my baby tonight. But I feel so invested in a VBAC already or at least starting labor on my own. I've hired a great doula, I've been doing physical therapy exercises, perineal stretching, and optimal baby positioning techniques. I want to attempt a vaginal birth, but it would sure help if this baby would get things moving for me.
Why do I want a VBAC so badly? For a few reasons. I want to know I can do it. I want to be more involved in my baby's birth not just strapped to a table feeling removed from both the delivery and the immediate bonding with baby. I want to hold the baby first. I want to see and feel the moment of birth and that first cry rather than staring at a blue curtain. Also I don't want a third major abdominal surgery, longer recovery, longer hospital stay. And I'm not saying we will, but if there is a fourth child, a VBAC will make that easier, too.
We'll see what Friday brings. Maybe it will show something that will require a cesarean. Or maybe it will show a perfectly healthy, happy baby that can wait it out a bit longer. It will be nice to check and see. Meanwhile I do kick counts and try to be patient.
I wonder if baby wants to come on someone's birthday - Grammy's is Wednesday, Dad's is Saturday, and Grandpa's 90th is next Tuesday.