First Outfit

My mom gave me our first little girl outfit for Christmas along with some pink ruffled socks.  My sister-in-law, Aurora, also gave me some pink booties.  It’s our first pink stuff! 

I try to imagine having her on the outside and it still seems so foreign to me.  There’s only one Studer baby and that’s Desmond.  Okay, so he’s not a baby anymore, but I can’t wrap my mind around having two children yet. 

I know we’ll figure out life with two kids as it comes, but I still can’t help but wonder if I’ll love her and be attached to her just as much as I am with Desmond.  I know the answer is yes, but it’s hard to imagine.  I also wonder if Desmond will feel left out, replaced, or loved less.  He won’t have my undivided attention nearly as often and I know I’ll have to be intentional to give him quality one-on-one time during naps and stuff and involve him in taking care of little sister. 

I’ve also been thinking about nursing and how hard it was the first time.  I’m anticipating that it could be just as hard this time around – I don’t have any grand notions that it will somehow all go beautifully.  But this time I have Desmond’s needs to tend to as well so I can’t focus my entire day on nursing, bottle feeding, pumping, and repeating.  If I do need to pump I don’t know that I’ll be able to keep it up very long.  Only time will tell.

Today is 22 weeks!  I’m feeling so big already.  I love feeling her move and I think she’s more active than Desmond was, but maybe I just don’t remember.  The other night when I was trying to go to sleep she had the hiccups and it made me smile.