First Outfit

My mom gave me our first little girl outfit for Christmas along with some pink ruffled socks.  My sister-in-law, Aurora, also gave me some pink booties.  It’s our first pink stuff! 

I try to imagine having her on the outside and it still seems so foreign to me.  There’s only one Studer baby and that’s Desmond.  Okay, so he’s not a baby anymore, but I can’t wrap my mind around having two children yet. 

I know we’ll figure out life with two kids as it comes, but I still can’t help but wonder if I’ll love her and be attached to her just as much as I am with Desmond.  I know the answer is yes, but it’s hard to imagine.  I also wonder if Desmond will feel left out, replaced, or loved less.  He won’t have my undivided attention nearly as often and I know I’ll have to be intentional to give him quality one-on-one time during naps and stuff and involve him in taking care of little sister. 

I’ve also been thinking about nursing and how hard it was the first time.  I’m anticipating that it could be just as hard this time around – I don’t have any grand notions that it will somehow all go beautifully.  But this time I have Desmond’s needs to tend to as well so I can’t focus my entire day on nursing, bottle feeding, pumping, and repeating.  If I do need to pump I don’t know that I’ll be able to keep it up very long.  Only time will tell.

Today is 22 weeks!  I’m feeling so big already.  I love feeling her move and I think she’s more active than Desmond was, but maybe I just don’t remember.  The other night when I was trying to go to sleep she had the hiccups and it made me smile.

Thinking of Our Little Girl

Yesterday I had fun doing some things for our little girl.  Desmond “helped“ me look through all his 0-12 month clothes to pull out everything yellow and green that little sister can wear.  I have more neutral stuff than I thought, but it will be nice to add some pink and purple to that pile!  Desmond also oo-ed and ahh-ed over the baby toys that I’ve long since retired from his toy box.  A couple of them are back in the toy box.

I also started a Target baby registry since I know I have at least one little shower in the works.  Unfortunately most of Target’s stuff online isn’t in stores so I really need to go in to a store to make my list.  I’m not sure I want to do that with Desmond’s help so who knows when that will happen.

I wish I could start setting up the nursery stuff and paint the walls violet, but we need to put in Desmond’s carpet first before we can move him out of the nursery.  And before that we need to pay for the roof so it’s kind of a chain reaction waiting to happen, but in time we’ll get done what we can.

Today’s the Half-Way Marker

 

Looking familiar!  I’m getting bigger, but in comparison it looks about the same as I did at 20 weeks with Desmond.  I’m enjoying feeling her move around all the time.  It’s a daily thing now, and I wonder if she’ll be more of a mover than Desmond was.  Yesterday I had the first big kick that made me go, “Whoa!” and probably could have been seen on the outside if I was looking.

I feel more relaxed this time around.  I’m not pouring over What to Expect When You’re Expecting or worrying about every twinge I feel.  We’re not signed up for a birthing class though we’ll probably take a one day refresher course through the hospital at some point.  I want to be prepared for a VBAC or cesarean if I need one again.

The one book I have been reading is the name book.  I want to put together a short list for Davin and I to look over together.  Last time we read through the whole section of boys names on date nights at coffee shops and the airport, but we don’t have as much time together these days.

I’ve been knitting a blanket since shortly after I found out I was pregnant, but it’s taking me a lot longer than it took me to make Desmond’s blanket.  I’m only about half way so far.  I also bought another quilt kit just like Desmond’s beloved blanket except in pinks and purples.  That will be fun to put together!

It feels great to be half way through as of today!  Davin and I were just discussing how it still feels like it’s taking a long time even though they say the second one just flies by.  I bet it will feel a bit shorter at the end when I still have a long list of things I never got done before my due date.  We have more planning to do this time, too, because we’ll have to find someone who can take Desmond for a few days at a moment’s notice and make sure he’s packed for that as well as us being packed for the hospital.  It’s going to be interesting!

It's a...

Girl!

It's official. We had the ultrasound yesterday and it felt like Christmas morning getting to finally peak inside the present. I felt like I was carrying a girl. I never had a feeling one way or another with Desmond but this time was just different. If I had been wrong it would have taken some time to adjust to the idea of a boy, but still I think it would have been great for Desmond to have a brother close to his age. He'll be great with a sister, too. He's already talking about how he'll help me with the baby. I grew up with three brothers and have a son so this will be new territory raising a girl. Bring on the pink!

Thoughts on Life

I had MOMS group today which I've been attending since February. The speaker talked about the godly legacy his wife left for him and his kids after she unexpectedly died last year. Then in our small group sharing there were stories of miscarriages and such. A word to the wise. Never say the word "fat" to a pregnant woman and don't tell horror stories of babies dying or nearly dying no matter how interesting you think it is. Anyway, it made for a rather emotional morning. I'm left thinking about death: both my miscarriage and the fact that if I were to die Desmond wouldn't remember me. All things out of my control so I guess there's no point in worrying about it. My second baby was due December 28th... just about 3 weeks away. Ah, how nice it would be to only have to wait another few weeks rather than 5 months! I'm feeling the baby move more and more which is comforting. Davin's even felt it. Tomorrow we get to peak inside and find out the gender. Hurray!